Friday, January 21, 2011

How to be amused and appalled, all at the same time...

Be the parent of a toddler.

That alone should say it all, but yet, I'm sure you're wondering what my personal experience with this emotional phenomenon was. So, be prepared for your laugh of the day.

On bath nights, which in the winter are every night due to the dry air and thus, the dry skin (the poor child inherited his mother's pale, sensitive skin), I take the kidlet out of the tub, dry him off and then hope tonight is the one out of ten nights he'll actually go to his room to get dressed. Since usually luck is not with me, I get his clothes together and his diaper ready while he runs around enjoying his freedom with squeals of delight.

Last night was a freedom night. Only, instead of happy sounds, I hear thump, thump, thump followed by suspicious giggles. So I quickly get the clothes together and then go in search of the trouble maker. I don't have to go far. From the hall I see him standing in the living room, stomping his feet and exclaiming in joy. As I get closer, my mouth drops open in horror. He's standing in a puddle. A very large puddle. And there are NO cups near by. And he's stomping his little feet and splashing happily! OMG! I snatch him up while screaming for my husband. He appears in the doorway, laughing his ass off by the way, and then refuses to take the kid.

Wet feet dangling, I try to give the naked baby over to my husband, who takes a step back, hands up and says, "What if he's not done yet?" I look at the floor, and the child's self-created puddle and assure him, our son is done peeing. Still laughing, he takes him and brings him to the room, while I go in search of something to clean up the mess. I find cloth diapers work the best for these sort of things, and what is my husband doing? He's giving our son high fives! Yes, let's encourage the whizzing on the living room floor! Only men...

So there you have it, how to be amused and appalled at the same time. What has your toddler done (past or present) to give you the gift of this same experience?



  1. Cindy who is 9 now when she was a toddler dumped climbed onto the counter. Dumped out a container of sugar then took her diaper off and peed on it. Now in my defense it was her first climb. My kids don't go for small feats.

    Chrissy, who is 6 now, has a speech problem so her talking came late. One summer when she was 4 we were in the Oakland CA airport eating in between flights. A tall woman, having trouble walking because her heels were too tall, in a mini skirt and tube top immediately caught my daughters attention. She looks at her then looks at me, pointing and at the top of her southern accented lungs says "Mom that brown girl is immodest." Wait till they start talking it's a whole new ball game then.

  2. Ooooh! LOLOL! Bri, oh my goodness. I know, we have a teenager too and I'm in for a world of trouble, LOL! Our oldest has done some insane things too that we still laugh about (like face-planting the back of a pickup truck), but the toddler is our latest path to laughing and crying at the same time. :-D

  3. He sounds like my husband. Sorry about the mess.

  4. Yeah... it's okay. Cleaned right up. Thank goodness for hardwood floors! Thanks for stopping by, Jerri! :-)